Years ago, as I sat cuddling my sleeping baby while my arms fell asleep and the pressure in my bladder tested the tenuous restraint of my pelvic floor, I had a brutal and sudden realization. I hated my house. Confined within the four walls of my living room as I had been for nearly every nap (hers and mine), feed or fuss over the last few months, the resentment for my space was only nearly outpaced by my need for the bathroom.
The neutral palette which was soothing after a day at work was now bland and boring. The bookshelves and display cases were burdens of responsibility that flaunted dust bunnies only rivaled by the left-over toast crumbs on my tank top. It was all too much, all that stuff, and yet not enough at all for this new phase in my life. My life had changed and so had my needs and tastes for my home.
“We’ll do it when the kids are older” is a mantra I hear frequently when I encounter parents of any-aged children. Often the concern is investing in a new sofa or area rug only to have it sacrificed to the yogurt and apple sauce gods the next time your little angels turn Lord of The Flies. Sometimes I suspect, and fairly so, that overwhelmed, overtaxed and over-fill-in-the-blank parents just “can’t”. They can’t conjure the energy and attention needed whilst hearing “mommy” 2 567 times a day. Maybe they can’t face the uncertainty of confronting their space when they are already swallowing down multiple fears and worries due to tiny terrors who seem to do their level best to not live past their childhoods.
But you must. Why? Why would I make you decorate your home when the above arguments seem so inarguable? So very complete and credible?
Look at your lovely angels. Know that they will very likely mush guacamole into your area rug and get marker on your toss cushion and then decorate your home anyways. Because your thoughts, feelings, motivations - YOU - deserve it.
Years ago, while at what felt like a desperate career cross-roads, I took an on-line career test. The result said something to the effect of: "You need to be surrounded by beauty."